Invasion
by Origin Blue
Summary: Written for the riddikulus challenge. High insanity warning! 'This fic is dangerous and not to be approached by any unqualified personell'


A/N: Written for the riddikulus challenge. Take a look, on Riddikulus3000's lookup!

Disclaimer: Oh for god's sake. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, okaaaaaay, anger managment, visualsation, ahhh, ..Grits teeth... Don't own. there I said it, so feh (god I just love that word)..okay, and nor do I own Red Dwarf... Grrrrrrr

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Invasion.

Sirius, Remus, James and Peter, were enjoying their weekend, taking stroll round the Hogwarts grounds. Sirius was carrying something that looked strangely like an ant farm. They were all too busy engaged in conversation about how they were going to prank Snape next, that they failed to acknowledge the huge, red metal object that had just appeared in the sky, and was dropping towards the earth very fast.

Suddenly, James looked up.  
"HOLY HELL, WHAT IS THAT!" He said

"Well I believe it's the spaceship Red Dwarf, Prongs"

"Okay, I believe you Moony..."

" Well it is written on the side"  
" Oh yeah..."

The the cargo bay doors swung open and a figure stepped out.

" So this is the past... " He said

"AHHHHHHH, It's a carbon-copy of Lucius Malfoy, TAKE COVER." said Sirius

"Who are you, and why are you covered in tomato sauce?" Asked James

" AH, I am Draco Malfoy, son of Narcissa and Lucius blah blah blah heir to the Malfoy legacy, and more blah blah blah blah blah. And the sauce, well... um... the less said about that the better"

" Lucius... and. Narcissa... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" Said Sirius.

"But I think we're all losing sight of the real point here, which is that Red Dwarf landed on Sirius' precious purple ants" Said Padfootbabeinblack.

" They WHAT... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. POOR FRED, BOB, JIM, HARRY, FLORENCE,  
KELLY, TOM, VICKY, FREDBOB, FREDDY, BOBBOB..."

" Are we gonna be standing here all day?" Asked James

" Gill, Laurence, Orion, Daphne, Monty, Seamus, Flair, Magic, Dave, bobfredbob,  
Jimbob, Gregory, Cheryl..."

" I think there were 42 of them." Said Remus

" Oh god!" Said James

"... Anne, Victoria, Helena, Lyla, Fitzherbert, Pepsi, Molly, Bonnie, Jade, Magic..."

" FOR GOS'S SAKE SIRIUS, ARE YOU NEARLY DONE YET!" Screamed Remus.

"Don't waste your breath Moony, there's no chance..." Said James

" Anyways, looking past the derranged dog over there, I am not here for the good of my health, I've seen things that would make your hair curl." Said Draco

"Like what, c'mon then..." Said James.

" ...Frederik, Bronia, Jazz, Rosie, Zak..."

" 15 years ago, Snape, nappies, need I say more," Said Draco

" What do you mean 15 years ago, I... oops, I have said too much" Said Snape.

" WHAT!" Said Everyone.

" Someone get rid of this geek from the futre, frankly, he's boring ME, and I'm writing this fic" Said Padfootbabeinblack.

" AVADA KADAVRA. HA!" Said Dumbledore as he killed Draco

" Oops" Said Remus

"What do you mean oops?" Said Dumbledore, the world is now a better and much happier place"

" ...Melissa, Ben, and of course, dear Ethelbert."

" It's about bloody time!" Said Remus. Now Sirius had moved out of the way of his smashed ant farm, Remus idly flicked his wand, and the glass was miraculously unsmashed and all the purple ants were running around again.

"WOW! how did you do that, I wanna go!" Said James

"Errr, maybe it's magic." Said Remus sarcastically.

" Maybe it's Maybelline..." Said Sirius, his hair blowing in the wind like a badly produced cosmetics advert."

"Errrrmmm.." Said a very small voice to Padfootbabeinblack " I know it may not be my place to ask, but I don't seem to have had one line yet.

"Okay then Peter, if you must" Said Padfootbabeinblack, handing him a hurridly scribbled line.

" I like prancing around in womens pink underwear and long stripy socks eating plastic fruit... well I suppose it's better than nothing"

" True too..." said Sirius, interrupting.

"..." Said padfootbabeinblack "okaaay then, maybe it better end there"

Fin

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A/N: There we go, maybe not the pinnacle of literary works, but I like it :D. Remember, constructive critisism is accepted, but we all know what happens to flames! 


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